Randy Pauschís Tips for Working Successfully in a Group
Meet people properly. It all starts with the introduction. Then, exchange contact information, and make sure you know how to pronounce everyoneís names. Exchange phone #s, [email addresses] and find out what hours are acceptable to call during.
Find things you have in common. You can almost always find something in common with another person, and starting from that baseline, itís much easier to then address issues where you have differences. This is why cities like professional sports teams, which are socially galvanizing forces that cut across boundaries of race and wealth. If nothing else, you probably have in common things like the weather.
Make meeting conditions good. Have a large surface to write on, make sure the room is quiet and warm enough, and that there arenít lots of distractions. Make sure no one is hungry, cold, or tired. Meet over a meal if you can; food softens a meeting. Thatís why they "do lunch" in Hollywood.
Let everyone talk. Even if you think what theyíre saying is stupid. Cutting someone off is rude, and not worth whatever small time gain you might make. Donít finish someoneís sentences for him or her; they can do it for themselves. And remember: talking louder or faster doesnít make your idea any better.
Check your egos at the door. When you discuss ideas, immediately label them and write them down. The labels should be descriptive of the idea, not the originator: "the troll bridge story," not "Janeís story."
Praise each other. Find something nice to say, even if itís a stretch. Even the worst of ideas has a silver lining inside it, if you just look hard enough. Focus on the good, praise it, and then raise any objections or concerns you have about the rest of it.
Put it in writing. Always write down who is responsible for what, by when. Be concrete. Arrange meetings by email, and establish accountability. Never assume that someoneís roommate will deliver a phone message. Also, remember that "politics is when you have more than 2 people" - with that in mind, always CC (carbon copy) any piece of email within the group, or to me, to all members of the group. This rule should never be violated; donít try to guess what your group mates might or might not want to hear about.
Be open and honest. Talk with your group members if thereís a problem, and talk with me if you think you need help. The whole point of this course is that itís tough to work across cultures. If we all go into it knowing thatís an issue, we should be comfortable discussing problems when they arise -- after all, thatís what this course is really about. Be forgiving when people make mistakes, but donít be afraid to raise the issues when they come up,
Avoid conflict at all costs. When stress occurs and tempers flare, take a short break. Clear your heads, apologize, and take another stab at it. Apologize for upsetting your peers, even if you think someone else was primarily at fault; the goal is to work together, not start a legal battle over whose transgressionswere worse. It takes two to have an argument, so be the peacemaker.
Phrase alternatives as questions. Instead of "I think we should do A, not B," try "What if we did A, instead of B?" That allows people to offer comments, rather than defend one choice.